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Alone vs Lonely: What is the Difference?
There is a vast difference between alone vs lonely. However, many of us tend to mix the two states together, to associate being alone with loneliness, but this is a vast misconception. One is a physical condition while one is an emotional condition.
According to Everyday Health, “studies, including one published in 2017, have suggested that living alone is a risk factor for loneliness and social isolation. But, research also suggests that time spent alone can help with feelings of autonomy, self-discovery, and fostering a “peaceful mood,” especially in seniors, according to a 2021 study. In other words, being alone can — but doesn’t necessarily — cause loneliness.”
Definitions
Alone is the physical condition of not being with anyone, quite often by choice. There is no other physical or human presence. People who are alone by choice usually prefer to be that way at that particular point in time, often to meditate or to get things done that they can not accomplish with others around.
Loneliness is the emotional opposite. A person who is lonely is suffering from a lack of human connection. Oddly, they do not have to be alone to feel lonely. They can feel lonely in a crowd, and this is not of their choosing. They simply feel that they are not connecting positively with other people. The social contact that they are experiencing is not emotionally fulfilling.
Pandemic Related Isolation
We are just emerging from the throes of the covid pandemic in which we were forced to self-isolate for health reasons. This created an example of being alone that did create loneliness in a great number of people. The key here is that we did not actually become isolated by choice, but by necessity.
Most of us would agree that isolation is not fun. Humans are by nature gregarious and crave connections with other humans. Being denied this caused a sharp increase in loneliness. According to a survey released by Cigna in January, 2021, three of five people admitted that they had felt lonely in the recent past.
Related Negative Physical Effects
This feeling of isolation can lead to more serious physical and emotional problems if not treated. Consider again the isolation of the pandemic. How many people gained 15 to 25 pounds?
How many people started or increased undesirable habits like drinking or smoking? Untold numbers of people fell into depression or developed anxiety. Therapists will be trying to help people overcome these conditions for years to come.
Alone By Choice
As bad as loneliness is, we have to look in the opposite direction for the benefits of being alone. We have more time to meditate and to do things that we want to do. Many of us are still working from home which gives us more free time which would normally be spent commuting to and from work. Since we are alone by choice, we have the option to use these extra minutes in any way we choose.
We can use the extra time to reach out to people, to check on them. This extra time can be employed to create new social connections. How about investing the time into starting a daily exercise routine. We could catch up on our reading if we so desire.
Alone By Choice Presents Options
If we are alone by choice, the options of what we can do are unlimited. We can:
- go out into the sunshine and take a walk.
- take a coffee break if we would like.
- just kick back and relax.
- think or meditate. Some people call this reconnecting with themselves.
- let our thoughts wander, think about whatever we want, do what we want.
We are alone, we are free for the moment from all the demands of the outside world. There is no one else there to tell you that this is not allowed.
You are alone and you feel good about it. This is the difference between being alone and loneliness.
Going Forward
In conclusion,it is important to know the difference between feeling lonely and being alone. Being alone does not necessarily mean that you are lonely, and being lonely does not necessarily mean that you are alone. Sometimes, it is necessary to be alone in order to feel connected to others. Other times, it is necessary to be with others in order to feel less alone. It is up to each individual to decide what works best for them in any given situation.
Being lonely can actually be quite harmful to your mental health. If you are feeling lonely, reach out to family and friends or join a club or activity group. You are never truly alone when you have others in your life that you can rely on.
Click here for our section of articles on how to Heal Your Loneliness.
Click here for a scientific study on impact of loneliness from the National Library of Medicine. A very good read.
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