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Four Reasons Why People Have Difficulty Expressing Emotions

 

It’s no secret that people have difficulty expressing emotions. Whether it’s because we’re afraid of being rejected, or we don’t want to burden our loved ones with our own problems, we often bottle up our emotions instead of sharing them.

The “It’s fine” epidemic is alive and well in our world today. You probably know it well. In fact, you’ve likely been affected by it. This is the feeling epidemic, the one where you actively attempt to avoid expressing your feelings. And you’re left with a surplus of bottled up emotions that want to get out.

For some, it is because they have never been taught how to properly share and respond to their partner’s feelings. Others may have experienced some trauma in their past that has made them shut down emotionally.  They may be afraid of how their partner will react, or they may simply not know how to express what they are feeling.

 

Difficulty Sharing Emotions is Unhealthy

This can lead to all sorts of problems down the line, both for ourselves and for our relationships. If we’re not sharing how we feel, we’re not giving our partners the opportunity to respond to our feelings and show us that they care.  Whatever the reason, not being able to express one’s feelings can lead to all sorts of problems in a relationship, as the partner may feel like they are not being heard or understood. It is important to be able to share your feelings with your partner, and to respond to their feelings as well. By doing so, you can create a stronger, more intimate bond.

To combat this, you need to understand the “why.” Why do people have a hard time expressing their feelings? What is it that holds us back? After all, we’re human. Emotions are innate. But for some reason, it feels like emotions and feelings are meant to be stowed away—never to be opened or revealed. To attack the why, understand these 4 common reasons that hold people back from expressing themselves.

 

It’s Hard to Articulate How You Feel

Emotional intelligence is person-dependent. We’re not all born with a knack for understanding ourselves and why we feel a certain way. One day, you may be over the moon. The next, you may be feeling insecure and totally alone. When you’re experiencing a feeling that you don’t understand, try to look inward. Ask yourself clarifying questions, like “What is going on in my mind that makes me feel different?” or “Have I ever felt this way before?”

It can be difficult to put your feelings into words and share them with your partner. You may be worried about how they will react, or you may simply not know how to start the conversation. However, sharing your feelings is an important part of a healthy relationship. Here are a few tips on how to do it effectively:

1. Be clear about what you’re feeling. Take some time to think about exactly what it is that you’re trying to express. This will help you communicate more effectively with your partner.

2. Avoid using “you” statements. For example, instead of saying “You never listen to me,” try “I feel like I’m not being heard.” This will help avoid putting your partner on the defensive and help them understand where you’re coming from.

3. Use “I” statements instead of “you” statements.  Don’t allow the opportunity to make your partner feel as though s/he is the accused.

 

Feeling Alone in Your Mind

One of the first things we do when we’re feeling inundated by our emotions is we blame ourselves. We tell ourselves that we’re alone in this journey – that no one else is experiencing these emotions. Don’t do this to yourself! Comparing to others and assuming that you know other people’s situations doesn’t help you.  In reality, you don’t know. Everyone struggles in their own way, and just because you’re going through something unique doesn’t mean you’re alone or weird for it.

If you’re feeling alone in your mind, you’re not the only one. Others struggle with similar feelings, and it can be helpful to know that you’re not alone.

It’s easy to feel like you’re the only one struggling with your thoughts and emotions, but it’s important to remember that others are struggling too. You aren’t alone in your struggles, and knowing that others are going through similar things can be helpful.

If you’re feeling alone in your mind, reach out to someone who can understand and offer support. There are people who care about you and want to help you through whatever you’re going through. You don’t have to go through this alone.

 

The Fear of Being Weak

It’s not common to find someone who says, “I hope I can become even weaker!” That’s silly, right? The word “weak” is overused and often incorrectly used. Having emotions is not weak. Experiencing a feeling is not vulnerable. Talking about your feelings is not weak. Most importantly, you are not weak. You are human.

It’s time to debunk the notion that needing help is a sign of weakness. Asking for help does not make you weak, it makes you human. What’s more, it takes strength and courage to admit that you need assistance.

Needing help does not mean that you are incapable or incompetent. It simply means that you cannot do everything on your own and that’s okay. Everyone needs help from time to time, even the most successful people in the world.

So next time you’re feeling afraid or embarrassed to ask for help, remember that there is no shame in admitting that you need assistance. In fact, it’s a sign of strength.

 

Too Many Feelings to Separate Them

It’s safe to say that most people have experienced feeling overwhelmed by their emotions at some point in their lives. When we are faced with a situation that is especially difficult or stressful, it can be hard to sort out which feelings are real and which ones are just our imagination. This can lead to a feeling of being overloaded and unable to separate our thoughts and emotions.

When you’re “in your feels,” it feels like you’re in an emotional tornado. You’re not sure which feelings are concrete and which ones are fleeting. You don’t trust your psyche, so you feel like you need to hold back on sharing what’s going on in your mind.

There are a few things that you can do if you find yourself in this situation. First, try to take a step back and assess the situation. Let the feelings and experiences sink in and go from there.  What is causing you to feel so overwhelmed? Once you identify the source of your stress, you can start to deal with it in a more constructive way.

Another helpful tip is to focus on one feeling at a time. If you’re feeling angry, sad, and afraid all at once, try to focus on just one of those emotions.

Once you’ve been able to separate the real feelings from the fleeting ones, you’ll feel more comfortable about opening up.

Note: If you would like to learn more related to this topic, people who do not recognize their emotions suffer from alexithymia.  Read more about it here .

 

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